"Gucien Leorges"
Name: Gucien Leorges Aliases: Lucien Georges, Lichen, Gloverman Born: 9/9/1766, 3rd moon of Uranus. Species: Lichen/God Height: 4'11 1/2 Muscles: Swole Penis: Massive Fetishes: Rock Licking. CHAPTER 1 HUMBLE BEGINNING'S _________________________________ The being known today as "Gucien Leorges" was created almost two hundred years ago when a category 69 hurricaine hate fucked a 30,000 foot Volcano on the 3rd moon of the planet Uranus. While at first Gucien was but a mere fungal species known as a Lichen, he grew more powerful over time by squating thousands of pounds everyday. Eventually he gained enough strength to travel to Earth where he lives now as a God. CHAPTER 2: GUCIEN ON EARTH __________________________ After landing on Earth, Gucien Leorges set out to dominate the genetically inferior humans. To do this he tried out for the local baseball team to show the puny humans he was athletically superior and had way bigger sex organs than them, although he was initially cut because his coach was afraid of his raw power, he was begged by the coach to return as he was clearly the best Catcher in the nation. Gucien then proceeded to hit .500 his first year (1 hit, 2 at bats but that's beside the point) and single handedly won the club its first CIF championship while also simultaneously impregnating all his teammates mothers (only the hot ones tho.) Unfortunately, his dick slanging on the baseball field failed to defeat the humans, as he was met with intense opposition from human deity's "Henry the Drift God", his swoliness "Dylan Swolloff", "Grant, lord of the trap", "Connor the lord of anime titties", "Bayley, lord of monetary policy","Will, Lord of the Lurk Realm", and "Hunter the racist". In order to defeat these powerful foes, Gucien knew he needed to do something big, so he decided to save up to get a car, that way the carless humans would have to worship him. So Gucien set out to get a car by working at a movie theater for 6 months. From his time at the theater Lucien made 6,000 dollars. He then went and bought an orange suburb crosstrek for $32,000 with his own money. (You might be thinking "hey, how could he buy a $32,000 car for $6,000?" Well we were wondering that too, but he insisted that he bought it with his own money, and the lichen doesn't lie, so go to hell) After buying the Orange monstrosity of a car, Gucien proceeded to stunt on the humans for weeks before he was totally blindsided by a car that had the audacity to hit him while he was making an unprotected left turn. But Gucien was not yet defeated by the death of the great Suburu Pumpkin, he them used the $-26,000 he had left over and bought a $9,000 Toyota Tacoma, thus beginning a new era in human history. CHAPTER 3: THE AGE OF THE TACOMA _____________ After buying the great, white, shiny, pussy massacring vehicle that is the Toyota Tacoma, Gucien set out on a destructive rampage unprecedented in human history. According to the Lichen himself, he banged over 3,000,000,000 Freshman girls in the next 3 months, while simultaneously destroying his enemies with pure force and witty, snappy roasts. He also gamed the humans out of their money buy running a glove selling website where he sold baseball gloves infused with his jizz. He also made 46 trillion dollars on the side off of a 5 dollar investment in Amazon, not to mention the millions of dollars he made starring in his own porn movie trilogy, "star whores", for which he won an academy award for best actor. Also, sometime in between jizzing in gloves and acting in porn, Guciens house was tp'ed by the Peace Lords. CHAPTER 4: THE PRESENT _______________ Now that his epic battle with humanity is over, Gucien is attending Pungent Sound university on a full ride scholarship for baseball.